“Tell me, what would you do if you were me?”. This is one of the recurrent questions my clients ask me during sessions. In this question are laying two important things.
Firsts things first, a coach is there to ask questions, not to answer them. And most importantly, a coach is not there to give his/her opinion about anything his/her clients are saying. This is not about me; this is about you. It is ALL about you. I, as a coach, have no answer, no magic wand, no trick to offer.
Then, and more importantly, there are no such things as “right” answers, “right” decisions. The funny thing is, we all instinctively know it! Imagine, if there was a unique “right” way to do things: we would all order the same thing at the restaurant, live in the same type of housing, wear the same clothes, and love the same person. Sounds crazy doesn’t it? Still, most people tend to look for the “right thing to do” and ask people for their advice. We have forgotten to trust our own judgement, to follow our instincts and it does make sense in a way. Indeed, it is easier to ask someone to decide for us so that if it goes wrong, we will have someone else to blame. So, we follow what the society dictates, we mimic our friends’ choices, and we end up living someone else’s (dream) life. Or live by someone’s else’s fears, which is even worse.
The right answer for you today may not be the right answer for you tomorrow. That’s the way life is and that’s the beauty of it all. Once you accept that, the only right question to ask yourself before making any decision is “does it serve my purpose today? Do I feel like it is making me move in the direction I want to go?”. Listen to your instinct, mitigate with your mind, and let your heart have the last word.
I would love to read you story about this “right” thing to do that didn’t turn to be the right thing in the end. Or maybe this advice you wish you haven’t given.